Top 10 Funny Facebook Status Update/Best funny quotes

Don't like me? cool, i dont wake up every dy to impress you.

When I was younger, I couldn't wait to be older. This shit was not what I expected.

Not all cute guys have girlfriends, most of them have boyfriends.

I like sleeping, it's like death without the commitment.

The best feeling in the world is when someone you hate tells a joke and nobody laughs.

My mouth automatically says "shit" when something wrong happens.

A pretty face gets old, a nice body changes, but a good woman will always be a good woman.

Every thing is funny as long as it is happening to some one else.

Out of my mind!!! back in five minutes.

I hate when i understand something..... after the test

2013 Funny New Year Resolutions/ Top Funny New Year Resolutions:

Awesome  Funny New Year Resolutions:

 I won't take bath everyday, this is my bit to conserve water.
   
I will stop giving excuses to my girlfriend for being late on every date. And, I am not lying this time.
   
I will stop sitting idle. Would rather utilize my precious time by sitting on Facebook.
   
I will stop peeping into my boyfriend's female friends profile on Facebook.
  
I will change my undergarments everyday.
   
I will stop staring at my gorgeous fitness instructor. So, I will become more focused on my fitness and will spend more time in the gym.
  
I will not stare at other girls, when with my girlfriend, though I am not sure when I'd be alone.
 
If someone would ask me for choosing one between Babes and Bikes. Babes, I sympathize with you.